Things I do not understand

There are a lot of things I do not understand in this world, and a fair number of them are good, and I like to seat and wonder and talk about them with family and friends. However, in light of the tragedy at Virginia Tech yesterday, I am forced to think about the ones that are not so good.

I often wonder why those that feel isolated and depressed feel that everyone else is at fault and to blame for the why they feel. That taking as many others out with them is the best way to resolve the way they feel. I have been down that road, where I felt that no one cared about me or what happened to me. There have been a number of times in my life where I have just wanted to curl up in a little ball and die. Thinking that the world would be a better place without me in it, and that everyone could care less if I was gone, knowing that a few would be quite happy that I was gone. But never once did I feel like taking out as many other people I as could be I took myself out.

Yes, I will admit that at times I am jealous and envious of those who have money and do not have to work for or work as hard for the things that they have, wondering why my lot in life is harder, at least financially. But never once have I thought that I should take a gun and kill a bunch of people just because I felt that way. What has happened to us as a people, that we feel that the only way we can make things better for us, is to make things worst for someone else? Why have we become so unable to work through our hardships and difficult times? Why is EVERYTHING someone else's fault? If a great depression were to hit us now (and some say that one is coming), this generation would not be able to survive it, like our grandparents and great-grandparents did in the 1930's. This generation, or at least most of it, would either simply lay down and die or destroy everyone else feeling that they deserve to live and everyone else did not.

I think that I am rambling and not making any sense. So I guess I will stop for now and see if I can not get my thoughts in order and come back later.