So this is wonderland???

Things I do not understand

2007-04-17T13:39:00.000-05:00

There are a lot of things I do not understand in this world, and a fair number of them are good, and I like to seat and wonder and talk about them with family and friends. However, in light of the tragedy at Virginia Tech yesterday, I am forced to think about the ones that are not so good.

I often wonder why those that feel isolated and depressed feel that everyone else is at fault and to blame for the why they feel. That taking as many others out with them is the best way to resolve the way they feel. I have been down that road, where I felt that no one cared about me or what happened to me. There have been a number of times in my life where I have just wanted to curl up in a little ball and die. Thinking that the world would be a better place without me in it, and that everyone could care less if I was gone, knowing that a few would be quite happy that I was gone. But never once did I feel like taking out as many other people I as could be I took myself out.

Yes, I will admit that at times I am jealous and envious of those who have money and do not have to work for or work as hard for the things that they have, wondering why my lot in life is harder, at least financially. But never once have I thought that I should take a gun and kill a bunch of people just because I felt that way. What has happened to us as a people, that we feel that the only way we can make things better for us, is to make things worst for someone else? Why have we become so unable to work through our hardships and difficult times? Why is EVERYTHING someone else's fault? If a great depression were to hit us now (and some say that one is coming), this generation would not be able to survive it, like our grandparents and great-grandparents did in the 1930's. This generation, or at least most of it, would either simply lay down and die or destroy everyone else feeling that they deserve to live and everyone else did not.

I think that I am rambling and not making any sense. So I guess I will stop for now and see if I can not get my thoughts in order and come back later.

Some day soon!!!!

2007-03-22T15:20:00.000-05:00

Some day soon I will have time to write more than one or two sentences. However now is not that time.

See you in the funny papers!!!!

Clam chowder

2007-03-09T16:11:00.000-05:00

Since it is Lent and it is Friday, this means that Chuck cannot eat meat, which means that I have to become creative in my cooking. I enjoy being creative with my cooking, but I have very little experience with cooking seafood. I have been thinking about trying my hand at clam chowder for a couple of weeks now and tonight's the night.

I have searched the net for quick clam chowder recipes and have found several that I think I can work with and create my own recipe, which I like to do. I have all of the ingredients at home so there is nothing stopping me. I just hope that Chuck likes it. There have been very, very few things that I have made that Chuck has not liked, but I still worry that "tonight will be the night" that he HATES!!!!!! what I have made, and will take what is on his plate, throw it away and pour himself a bowl of cereal for dinner.

On a completely different note, at Amelia's check-up Dr. B said that we can start her on solids, just a tablespoon or two of cereal twice a day. We can add applesauce or bananas to it after a couple of days or so, and see how she likes it. So we will be taking our first steps into real food (as close as you can get with rice cereal and applesause) tomorrow night. I cannot wait to see her face as she gets to try something new, and since she loves to eat (drink) as it is right now, I am sure that she will love the cereal too.

Well, that is all I've got for now. I will try my hand at posting picture this weekend if I get the chance. It may have to wait until later in the week, we will just have to wait and see.

Have a great weekend. It is suppose to be warm (at least tomorrow).

4 months

2007-03-08T15:35:00.000-05:00

Four months have come and gone.....I still cannot believe that Amelia is four months old already. She had her four month check-up on Monday. She is 14 lbs 8 oz and 24 and 1/4 inches long. She is already over two feet long, she is definitely going to be at least as tall as her daddy and me. There is an old saying that the height that you are at age 3, is half the height you will be when you reach your full height, if this is the case Amelia is going to have an even harder time finding clothes and shoes than I do. Maybe we will be lucky and she will stop at 6'2".

We are looking for a new (and hopefully less expensive) daycare for Amelia. Ever since her second case of pink-eye (which she got from daycare both times) the director and assistance director have acted very strange. There is almost a hostile atmosphere whenever I go in there. I do not feel that the ladies that take direct care of her, mistreat her or neglect her in any way. I just do not like the way I feel when I walk in there.

Now onto bigger and better things, Amelia is rolling over. Not much, but it still counts. She will be walking before I know it.

2007-03-07T16:06:00.000-05:00

Been away for a while .......... can't think of anything to write .......... hope to be back soon with something.

Stolen from Becky

2007-03-02T16:02:00.000-05:00

10 Favorites:
* Favorite Color: Green and/or purple
* Favorite Food: My Mom’s fried chicken, mashed potatoes and milk gravy
* Favorite Song: At Last – Etta James
* Favorite Movie: There are so many to choose from … I guess, 10 Things I Hate About You
* Favorite Sport: Hockey!!!!!
* Favorite Season: Spring
* Favorite Day of the week: Friday
* Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Chocolate Peanut Butter
* Favorite Time of Day: Dawn

9 Currents:
* Current Mood: Flat
* Current Taste: Salty
* Current Clothes: Jeans, Long-sleeve t-shirt, Jean Jacket
* Current Desktop: PPD Corp.
* Current Toenail Color: NA
* Current Time: 3:55 pm
* Current Surroundings: Office
* Current Thoughts: I wish Chuck had weekends off!!!!!!

8 Firsts
* First Best Friend: Carmen
* First Kiss: Jason (Kindergarten)
* First Screen Name: alice_a_suchman
* First Pet: cat named Carmen (named after best friend)
* First Piercing: ears, I was five
* First Crush: Ryan (3rd grade)
* First CD: Something by Garth Brooks

7 Lasts:
* Last Cigarette: Never had one!!!!!
* Last Drink: Coke, few minutes ago
* Last Car Ride: About two hours ago
* Last Kiss: Amelia, when I dropped her off at daycare
* Last Movie Seen: In the theater … Flags of Our Fathers
* Last Phone Call: My Mom, couple of days ago
* Last CD Played: No Speed Limit

6 Have You Evers:
* Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Guy/Girl Friends: Nope
* Have You Ever Broken the Law: Yes.
* Have You Ever Been Arrested: Yes.
* Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: Yes.
* Have You Ever Been on TV: Yes
* Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn’t Know: Nope

5 Things:
* Thing You Are Wearing: See above
* Thing You Have Done Today: Worked
* Thing You Can Hear Right Now: Centrifuges
* Thing You Cant Live Without: Chuck and Amelia
* Thing You Do When You Are Bored: Wander, while looking for something to do

4 Places You've Been Today:
* Daycare
* Work
* Chinese Restaurant
* Break Room

3 People You Can Tell Anything To:
* Chuck
* Carmen
* Mary

2 Choices:
* Black or White: Black.
* Hot or Cold: Hot

1 Thing You Want to Do Before You Die:
* See more of this wonderful world

Brain dead

2007-02-20T15:54:00.000-05:00

I really want to write something, but my brain is just too tried.

Too many brain-draining items at work to review and too many interrupts in my sleep last night to try and focus enough to come up with anything witty to say.

Maybe tomorrow. Looks like it will be a slow day, as there is very little on the shelf to review and we will probably be doing bench audits.

That is all for now. Hopefully I will see you tomorrow.

PINK EYE!!!!!!!

2007-02-16T10:02:00.000-05:00

Well, it has been another rough couple of days. Amelia has pink eye. I guess I do not need to tell you how MAD I am about that. No three-month old should have pink eye. At least the director of her daycare is even madder about it than I am.

Fortunatly, she is doing much better today. Actually, she was doing much better after just one dose of her meds. Thankfully, her doctor's office would she her, seeing as we do not have insurance at the moment. Since changing jobs in January, we have been without insurance, our new coverage with kick in on the first of March, so we will be covered for her 4-month check up. I cannot believe that she will be 4 months old in alittle less than two weeks. In some ways it feels like time has been kicked into over-drive, but in others it seems like it is slowing down (do you know what I mean???)

I have to go, I'm at work. Hopefully, I will be able to post more later.

Amelia - aka - The Jellybean

2007-02-13T15:59:00.000-05:00

In a comment to my last post, Becky stated something about giving Amelia (The Jellybean) her own little girl room by moving the desk/office/computer into the guest bedroom, which in some ways would be nice and in others just not possible.

First, my new guest bed (my old queen bed) will not fit in the office, as the office is not big enough to put the old guest bed (a full size bed) in it. Second, the guest room is not big enough to put the desk in even with the old guest bed in it, as our desk is hugh. It use to be Chuck's grandfather's when he was the farm manager for a very large farm in Northern Virginia. However, neither of these is the main reason I am not a big fan of giving Amelia her own room, at least not right now, mostly it is because we are renting right now and when she gets her own room I want it to be HER room, not a room that we cannot do things to. We are hoping to be able to afford to buy a house in the next two years, and then she can have her own room. I am also hoping that we will be able to get away with her sleeping in her crib till she is roughly 2, when we will HOPEFULLY need it for her first sibling.

When she gets her own room I want to be able to paint and decorate without caring if the landlord with have problems with it. I would love for her to have a nursery/room that is just her's that we can do all sorts of things to, but at least all of this is going on when she is too little to know any different. When she is older and really will care, then hopefully we will be able to give her her own room. But it WILL NOT BE PINK!!!!!!!!!!, not when went we can paint it any color under the sun. So don't even start thinking about it Becky :P

I've been away for a very long time!!!!

2007-02-12T15:19:00.000-05:00

I know, I know ... I haven't been here is a very long time. One I never realised how difficult it can be to write every day, I know I have said this before but its true; Two I am so brain dead by the time I get home every night that the thought of writing doesn't even cross my mind. Plus with the computer in the Jellybean's nursery, it makes writing after she's gone to bed impossible.

I am hoping that I will have time each day to write here at work. Four out of five days I am the only one in the department after 3:30 and most days I do not have anything to work on. So until I am completely up to speed with everything, I will have at least an hour to write (and read). I am way behind in my daily reading (see note above). I miss visiting everyones' sites and seeing what is going on in your lifes. I wrote that sentence as if there are people who actually read my blog!!!!! Maybe some day I will have people who read me (I know it would help if I actually contributed to my blog more than once every couple of weeks) I'll just have to wait and see.

This weekend was a bit rough. You know you've had a rough weekend when you are actually looking forward to Monday. Chuck got sick late Saturday night and the Jellybean is starting to teeing. Yesterday was the most difficult day with her since she was 5 days old. But looking back if yesterday is the worst it gets than life will/should be good.

Fortunately, Chuck is feeling a whole lot better and was able to go get the Jellybean from daycare when they called and said she had a low-grade fever (she's teeing remember). They didn't say she had to come home right then and there, but that if her fever went up then she would have to come home. But as I said Chuck was feeling alot better, so he came and got the blazer and took her home. He said she was doing fine and seemed to be happy to be home.

And on that note, I will head out and hope for the best for tomorrow.

2007-01-30T20:09:00.000-05:00

Well, I was going to write something but Jellybean is calling my name. I will try and post something later.

A very long week!!!!

2007-01-27T08:14:00.000-05:00

It's been a very looooonnnnnggg week!!!!!

I LOVE my new job. It really is the job I have been looking for since I graduated, almost 8 years (8 years, how the hell did that happen). I just love the people I am working with, they are all great. Everyone is professional, but they all have a great time too. It is such a relaxed atmosphere, it's just great.

Of course, with starting this new full time, 8 to 4:30 job, bring having to put the Jellybean in daycare, which I am not very happy about. But the center where we are taking her is great. All of the ladies in the Infants room just adore her, and she is only going three days a week right now. She will probably start going all week in March. Chuck feels that his schedule will change to having Saturdays and Sundays off. This makes me very happy and very sad. Happy in that we will finally get to start doing things together again, other than just see each other in the evenings and before one or both of us leave for work in the morning. We haven't had the same days off since August, but that happens when one of you works at a park that is open seven days a week. Sad that we will have to put the Jellybean in daycare five days and she will only get to be with us two. However she will get to be with both of us for those two days.

I have to say that Jellybean did really well these last three days. We didn't do too bad either. Chuck had a harder time than I did, but that's because I have been in a very intents training session all week. Wednesday, her first day at the center, was a very sloooooow day at the park, so Chuck had a great deal of free time to just sit and think about her, which wasn't a great thing.

I am hoping to start bloging more, we will just have to wait and see if it happens or not. The office is also Jellybean's nursery, so once she goes to bed at night, there is no using the computer. And of course when I first get home, I want to spend all my time with her, plus I have to make dinner (usually have to clean the kitchen first) and try and spend some time with Chuck.

Thus if I am not here very often, it's not because I do not want to be, it's because I just don't have the time.

2007-01-24T19:56:00.000-05:00

Yes I know it's been a week since my last post, but I've been busy. Between trying to get everything ready for the Jellybean to start daycare (which she did today), getting ready to start my new job, trying to finish unpacking (which isn't going so well) and trying to stay on top of the kitchen and lanudry, getting online is difficult, don't even mention blogging.

Well as I stated earlier, the Jellybean started daycare today. She did fine, and if I hadn't had to run home to get my training binder before work and continue with my very difficult training program, I'm sure that I would not have been. I was just too busy with everything going on at work that I didn't really have time to think about the fact that she wasn't at home with her daddy, that someone else was taking care of her. Everyone at the center just adores her, thinks that she is just wonderful, it makes it a little easier.

The new job is GREAT!!!!!!!!!

This is the type of company and job I have been looking for since I finished college. Everyone is professional. They know what it takes to run a company and do so in a way that will not cause everyone to want to go somewhere else. I really cannot wait until I am done with my two week training session so that I can actually get out there and start doing my job.

On that note, I still have a number of things I need to get done tonight before I can even think about going to bed, and believe my bed is calling me!!!

2007-01-17T21:32:00.000-05:00

Today I did something I have never had to do before in my entire life ... I had to go take a drug test, for the new job, of course, but it is still weird. You would think that as a brand-new mom, which the company knows I am, I wouldn't have to take one, but I guess there are enough women out there that being a new mom won't stop them from taking something, so I have to take one. I do not want to sound judgemental or superior or anything like that, I just have never understood taking drugs or mind-altering chemicals or whatever you want to call them and I never have. In fact, I have never smoked a cigarette or even been drunk for that matter. It's just not my thing. I enjoy a good drink now and then, just not to excess.

It's werid, but having to take a drug test made me feel dirty(???), (I don't know if dirty is the right word or not, but it is the only one I can think of right now). I feel like I am starting off this new job on the wrong footing simply because of this drug test. I know that I am clean and always have been, and that I never would and never will go to work impaired, not when you do want I do. You do not work with chemicals or microbials with anything but a clear and clean mind. I guess I feel like my integrity is in question and that bothers me, does that make any sense to anyone???

2007-01-16T09:06:00.000-05:00

Yes, I realise that it has been almost a week since my last post, what can I say, I've been busy and while I have a lot to say, I truly did not realise how difficult it can be to think of things to post about. Well we finally have a day-care for the Jellybean. It is only a few minutes away from my new job and I am hopeful that this will be a good fit all the way around.

I have to say that neither of us were overly happy about signing the care of our daughter to someone else, especially someone who is not family, however we have no other options, at least not at this time. She will only be in three days a week, since Chuck has Mondays and Tuesdays off right now, and even though we have to pay for a full week, whether she is there or not, we both feel it is better for us to spend as much time with her as possible.

I have finally gotten Jellybean's crib done. Chuck put it together a couple of weeks ago and it has been a catch all for her toys and extra clothes and other things. Now it is a glowing tribute to Classic Winn the Pooh. We even have a mobile that plays "Winn the Pooh". I cannot wait to take a picture of her in it surrounded by all of her stuffed animals, of which she already has at least 15.

2007-01-10T19:26:00.000-05:00

So today the Jellybean had her first vaccines and so far she is doing just fine. She is a little more sleepy that normal at this time of the evening, but other wise is she her normal happy little self. Of course, I could not be happier, she never even made a sound with any of the FOUR shots she got today. Yes, these are her first vaccines as I refused the Hep B vaccine in the hospital when she was first born and she will not be receiving her Hep B series until she is at least a year old. I spoke with her doctor about my concerns about newborns receiving the Hep B series and Dr. B agrees with me. Since we are not in a high risk group and will not be traveling to the Far East or Central and South America any time soon, there is no reason for a newborn to have to undergo a Hep B series. Thus the Jellybean will have one less vaccine series to undergo, at least for now anyway.

She is growing like a weed. She is now 12 lbs 9 oz and 23 in long. She is in the 90% for weight and 75% for lenght and head circum. I still cannot believe that she is mine. Sometimes I wonder when "they're" going to come and take her away, telling me my time is up, you know what I mean??? It just doesn't seem possible that she is mine. I look at her and just marvel at her, how perfect she is, how she is so tollerant of everything going on around her, she is just amazing.

2007-01-09T06:41:00.000-05:00

The last couple of days have been extremely busy. We are still trying to get our apartment unpacked and organized, which is difficult when you do not share a day off with your husband, and you are trying to take care of a two month old and catch up on sleep. Then you add in the fact that aside from not sharing days off, you work different shifts. Chuck gets home and I have to leave, most days we only get to see each other for a few minutes in the morning, and a few minutes in the evening, before clasping a little after midnight.

But all of that is about to change ... because I just got a new job. I start on the 22nd and I cannot wait. Hopefully this is the last time I have to look for a new job. I am going to work for a great company that has been around for a long time and is not just nationwide, but world wide. I had an interview yesterday at 11, and got an offer before 1. Besides more money, there is the opportunity to work from home part time, of course that will not be for some time, as I have to get through training and up to speed. Hopefully, with any luck I am finally done paying my dues and finally have a job worth going to and keeping.

Now on to a completely different subject, I will post some pictures of the Jellybean in the next couple of days (as requested by her Aunt Becky and her Grammy). I just need to find a few extra minutes to do so. And now I need to get going as I am at work and really should get something done, but even if I don't, what are they going to do ... Fire me?!?!!?!

2007-01-06T19:31:00.000-05:00

So here I sit at work, yes work, at 8:31 pm on Saturday night to complete my mandatory 6 hours of overtime. I will have to work another mandatory 6 hours next Saturday as well. All of this due to the astonishingly inept management of the department I work in. Without going into too much detail, we have ~18,000 surgical procedures to review, clean of mistakes and lock the data for sponsor upload, and we are no where close to being done. The data upload is to take place on Jan. 18th, management has only know about this since June, but did they do anything to insure that we would meet the deadline, no not until two weeks ago, even with 40 plus people working on this we will never get it done. Of course, when all is said and done, it will some how be "our" fault and not managements.

I will, however, not be staying until midnight as I was here until midnight last night (Friday night) and I only got roughly 4 and half hours of sleep last night (or early this morning) as Little Miss Jellybean decided to wake up at 4:30am. I got up to feed and change her as C had to be at work this morning. She ate just fine and then went back to sleep and I was back in bed at roughly 4:50am. I figured she would be good until at least 6:30am, if not 7:00am, but NO, she woke back up at 5:15am. I got up, gave her her pasie and went back to bed. She woke back up again about 5:30am, so you can see where this is going. I decided to just get up with her so she did not wake up her daddy and we went out to the front room. C got up at 6:45am to get ready for work and the Jellybean was still wide awake. I managed to get two short (very short) cat-naps in today, but neither was enough.

I guess I should wrap this up, as I am at work and I really should do something productive. So I will sign off for the night.

2007-01-05T09:27:00.000-05:00

Well, this is my first post. After reading a number of different blogs for several years now, I have finally decided to start my own. I will be working on all aspect of the design in the coming days and weeks, hopefully to make this truly my own space.

I have a number of topics and issues I plan to make comments on, but of course most of them have decided to evacuate the neighborhood. On that note, I will post this and make history, well at least history for me.